HOW TO BE A GREAT WIFE, WHILE BEING A GREAT MOTHER?

Getting married was perhaps the most exciting thing you did…until you had a baby. Having a baby and raising him will not only be the most exciting thing, it will also be the toughest thing you would ever do.

Are You Always A ‘Mom’?

Whether you have one baby or more than one, whether you are a working mom or stay-at-home mom, whether you live in a joint family or nuclear family, whether you live in India or abroad, children remain your top of the mind concern always. And it should be so as well. They are small, dependent and trust you blindly to take care of them. So shouldn’t they definitely take precedence over the grown man in the house who is perfectly able to take care of himself? Not necessarily and not always.
While countless friends, family members, well-wishers, books and online collateral prepare you to be a good wife before marriage and a good mother before motherhood, not many people talk about being a good wife after being a mother. In fact, not many even think about it as an issue that needs to be addressed. Which is very ironic, because while children need your attention now, they will eventually grow up and leave to pursue their future. Your life partner was/is – and will remain – your husband.
Want to be a great mom? Great idea. But at the cost of being a not-so-good wife? Not a good idea.
In this article, we try to bring out how you can strike a great balance between being a super-wife, without ignoring your duties as a mommy. But since, most of us are in denial that our marriages require any additional work, let us first examine the below:
Common Misconceptions Of A Mother Regarding Her Marriage
Being a mommy is the only thing that matters: As women, we are lucky enough to adorn several hats in our lives – a daughter, a friend, a wife, a mother, a grandmother and so on. Being a mommy is definitely of utmost significance, but many of us forget that we are a person first, and have many other roles, responsibilities and duties to cover. To be a great mommy, you need to have energy and focus, which can only happen when you have healthy positive relationship with rest of the family, especially your spouse. When we get a small bundle of joy all for ourselves, we tend to forget or reduce the significance of these other relations
Of course he understands why I have no time for him: Your husband can see that you are working round the clock – you are running the house, you are taking care of the baby, you are doing the chores. Obviously, he knows this and he understands that you are left with no time for him? He probably did, initially. But as your baby grows, you might get used to the routine of running 24×7 behind the baby and chores but your husband might start expecting you to be available for him as well
He should not complain; I am the one who should crib about him not helping enough: If your husband opens up and tells you frankly that you should focus on him too, you might go instantly defensive. You are doing so much and this man is saying you are not doing enough. Surely, it is the fault of your mother-in-law who has pampered her son to bits? Wrong, ladies. Your husband has every right to demand your time. You arehis partner, life-partner, after all. It is not impractical or unfair of him to expect some private time between you two. Of course, we are not talking about finding his car keys while changing your baby’s nappies. We are talking about spending quality time together
I can worry about sex once the baby is bigger: Chances are, you will just get used to not having sex at all! Your husband might be ready for sex sooner than you think – and again it is not a sign of being a bad dad or an impractical spouse. It is a reasonable expectation and you need to deal with it by talking about it, or if you are ready, finding time to engage in it! Being cold about getting physical is in no one’s favor


I have no energy to fight with him now, so let it be: Another mistake many of us do is to let go of fights just because we are distracted or have no time and energy to fight. More topics you bury under the carpet without discussion, more bottled up your and his feelings would get – only to burst out one day in a bad violent way
I have upped my game, why is he not willing to take more responsibility?: When you are being a supermom, seemingly doing everything, it is easy to demean the efforts of your spouse in this game. It might look like all he does is wake up, go to office, come back and sleep. You might be failing to notice the little-to-big things your husband is doing whenever he gets a chance. If your husband is also working round-the-clock, then when you crib about him not doing enough, it will make him frustrated, just like it would to you if someone says you are slacking

Now, we are not saying that YOU are solely responsible for making your marriage work. Your spouse needs to take as much, or more, efforts. You need to, too. So here they are:
10 Tips For You To Be A Great Wife, While Being A Great Mother

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